Should a mother continue to mediate her adult children when conflicts arise among them ?

Should a mother continue to mediate her adult children when conflicts arise among them ?

A mother is always a mother to her children, whether they are babies,kids,teens or grown up adults. Her affinity with her children is so close and more than anybody else and is characterised by the fact that she is having a filial bond with them.Hence, a mother's love and affection for her children is everlasting and undiminished irrespective of the age of her children.

The primary duty of a mother is to rear her children by feeding, nourishing, teaching and entertaining when her children are so young.When the children grow a mother should realise that they are growing mentally and physically.Accordingly her role and attitude vis a vis her children also changes.

Similarly when the children grow their interests and tastes vary and differ according to their mental predilictions.When the children are small and kids, they usually have small tiffs and fights over frivolus things like viewing a particular programme in a television, possessing a thing like a ball or doll, or driving a cycle, having a boating, or in doing a thing at first etc.At this stage, a mother's task is very easy and less cumbersome in her role play of mediation and conciliation among her children.Her young children will also be very amenable and easy to deal with.

When the children grow their mental caliber and physical strength also grows and they usually avoid quarrelling over petty things.When the children are in their teen, a mother should deal with them even more carefully as they are actually in a transition stage between a childhood and the adulthood.A mother should always mediate among her teen children, whenever the need arises and if need be act as a via media between her children and their father in case of any sensitive issues like drugs, smoking and dating etc.

When the children reaches the adulthood stage, they are physically and mentally grown up.They may have even attained a higher educational qualification than their mother and may have their own views and perspectives on specific issues they face or they have come across in their day to day life.Still a mother has a plenty of scope to mediate among them, because her affinity with her children continues as ever undiminished and she is more close with them than any other member of the family.Above all the adult children are still the dependants of their parents.

In the case of adult children, disputes or difference of opinion among them may arise, because of clash of egos, eventhough one may say that there is no scope for domination or ego clashes among the family members.But in the case of adult children, there is scope of domination of egos, because they are inexperienced and do not have sufficient exposure in the world.Since the adult children have reached a higher mental or intellectual frame of mind, they may have different views on different issues.They may have different types of friends.They may have interests in different games like football or cricket or base ball.Sometimes the adult children may be interested in doing a same thing. For example the Chappel brothers vied with each other to excel in cricket in their childhood days and Ian Chappel always tried to dominate over his younger brother Greg Chappel.It was their mother who often mediated between them.Similarly, the mother of Vijay and Anand Amirtha Raj skilfully dealt with them when both of them tried to excel in tennis.Now the whole world knows that Chappel brothers excelled in cricket and Amirtharaj brothers have become tennis celebrities.

Again the adult children may have conflicts when they are interested in different genres of music like rock and light music.Sometimes they may have misunderstandings and disputes over dating and friendship etc.A mother has to continue to mediate to resolve their conflicts with an unbiased approach, with a clear grasp of the subject and the problems involved in it.She need not have any reservation in dealing with the situation, just because her adult children are more educated than her.But keeping in mind that she is more experienced in life than her adult children, she is privileged to deal with the conflicts.She must deal with it rather skillfully so as to resolve the conflicts, to ease the situation, to dispel the misunderstanding between her adult children by giving proper advice and always with the objective of restoring normalcy among her adult children..She has to deal with their conflicts in such a way without any one of the children getting antogonised and estranged from her.

A mother has to continue to mediate among her adult children as long as they are dependant upon their parents, as long as they are unmarried, as long as they are shaky in their relationship.Once they become steady and have a complete understanding, a mother may feel proud about it.

Even after getting married, if a son or daughter, seeks the counseling and advice of a mother in a tricky family situation, she should not hesitate to offer her invaluable advice and deal with the situation.