How to Get Email Responses through Deception

The other day, I read an article that explained how to write emails that get responses. It said the usual things like make the subject line relevant, make your message clear, ask for an action statement, etc. Boring! I have found precisely the opposite: If you want to get responses to your emails, deceive people by making your email perplexing. The best way to do this is to write an imaginative email about something that could have happened, but did not happen. You talk about phantom conversations, events, and meetings. Add plenty of details. The person reads your email and has no idea what you’re talking about. What do they do? They respond. They simply can’t ignore your email. You’re capturing their interest and tricking them into responding to your gibberish.

For example, a friend had been ignoring my emails for weeks. So one day I wrote him a quick note about a phantom conversation we had on messenger. I added lots of details and ended my message with: “I enjoyed our chat the other day. I told you that idea totally sucked. Next time I will try not to dominate the conversation as much.” On that same day I received his response:

“What the heck are you talking about? We didn’t have a chat on messenger last night. What are you smoking brother? I haven’t been going on my computer lately because of all the time I’m spending at work.”

A few weeks back I met a friend by chance in the city library. I sent him an email describing another meeting we had at a different library branch. “I can’t believe I saw you at the Marpote branch!” I wrote. His response: “Hahaha, well DON”T believe it! I didn’t go near Marpote today! I worked at Frasenview actually. I wonder who you saw. If I have a twin, I hope he doesn’t make a habit of spending time in places I frequent…”

Another friend told me about an online game called Wordox and suggested we play each other one day. About a week later, I sent her a message describing a game we supposedly played. “I enjoyed our Wordox game the other day. I still