THE NEED FOR BIRTH CONTROL

THE NEED FOR BIRTH CONTROL  

Parents: you need to get your teens on birth control or supply them with condoms for their safety.   

BUT: my children are good kids.
Of course, they are and a teen pregnancy won’t change that; however, it will complicate all your lives if a moment of weakness engulfs them.

1.  BUT: they are too young yet.
The youngest pregnancy reported was a five year old in Peru. (We were scandalized too.)  Babies are sexual creatures so the urges are there and teen hormones will active them into high gear. The news media had a sad story about a twelve year old father who doesn’t get to raise his child  in the late 1990s. Tell us: who’s too young?

2.  BUT: We are church-going people and we taught them better than that.  Fear of going to Hell will prevent them form such a mistake.
Read the first objection again. The teen pregnancies I remember as a teenager happened to good kids and one in my church, especially.  I am the child’s godmother.

3.  BUT: we did like my mother did and told our daughter that she will get pregnant if she kisses a boy.
“But Mommy, I didn’t let Freddy kiss me.  How did this happen?”  
Is that what you want to hear when it is too late?  Teach your children truthful facts to protect them.  Ignorance has lead to an ocean of problems because the teens didn’t know how to defend themselves with ration knowledge to prevent a pregnancy or a STD.  Ignorance doesn’t make good kids, just victims.

4.  BUT: won’t that encourage sexual activity?
If they are going to have sex, this will protect them from some of the problems.  If they are selective about their partners or have decided to wait, no.  The children who like to experiment will need the back up and the timid ones just need protection from someone with a good line of
persuasion or a date-rape drug (or bottle of Tequila).

5.  BUT: My kids don’t get into situations like that because they date in groups.
And that makes a party.  If they drink at this group activity and kids will find a way, or smoke a joint because everyone is doing it and they want to fit in, they may well need the protection. Do you think they tell you everything when you have the power to embarrass them or end their relationships or social activities?  Better safe than sorry.

6.  BUT: they know they would be disowned if they show up with a pregnancy.
How compassionate of you.  Do you really think that will stop them?  It could be just the excuse they need to get out of the house where they have freedom of choice and acceptance as they are.  

7. BUT: “Mom, Dad, I am almost eighteen and I will have to take care of myself soon and I am afraid.  I don’t know how to do that.  If I get pregnant I can trap a husband and he will take care of me.”  
“Oh Darling.  Those days are over.”
Better than this scene, make sure your children, male and female, have some sort of skill and teach them how to manage a paycheck.  It isn’t so scary when you know what to expect from adult life.  You know how to buy groceries, pay bills on time and hold down a job.  Show them how to do this too.  They won’t be as anxious to have extra responsibilities until they are ready to be parents if they know how to be responsible single adults first.  Birth control is just a wise choice if they are that age.

8.  BUT: our son is fifteen and gay; our daughter is gay.  
That does not exclude experimentation or young men who want to “straighten up” a gay young lady. AIDS can be transmitted among gay or straight men and a condom will help cut down the risk.  Gay women have a specially hard row to plant because they can exchange saliva and transmit a disease to a partner.  Know your partner is the best advice here and be protected.

9.  BUT: birth control pills are dangerous with serious side effects.  
All medicines are because pharmaceutical companies don’t know enough about the human body to make meds without side effects, sometimes worst that the ailment they are designed to treat.  
Make sure your daughter (and son) has condoms and make them promise to not have unprotected sex regardless of the objections of a partner.  Pregnancy, herpes, STD of all sorts and  AIDS all need responsible decisions made by responsible parties.  

10.  BUT: abortion is the alternative for modern women today and are available in this civilized society.  
And there is a need for them in some cases but as birth control?  A abortion is still a surgery; they still are dangerous because any surgery has a risk of blood clots which kill 600,000 people a year world wide; and they can leave a woman scarred if done badly, and infertile as a result.   Half of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class, after all.   Not to mention an abortion is more expensive than a prescription for birth control pills or condoms.

11.  BUT: What will the neighbors say if I allow my teen to go on birth control?  
If they would rather be pompous and self-righteous with archaic beliefs than prevent a possible unwanted pregnancy, and not even in their own child, who cares what they will say?  Your responsibility is to your family, not the opinions of others.

12.  BUT: But nothing!  Face it, you’re a drunk/drug addict, gambler or  abusive person in need of help yourself.  Your children will look to others for love and comfort and that leads to sexual relations.  At least help them protect themselves from your problems.  Be honest with yourself for this lucid moment and do something for them until you can figure out that your self-esteem will be better based upon your achievements than on deadening the way you feel with bad fixes.              Seriously, Do something you are proud of doing and see if that doesn’t feel better than what you tried before. Do you really want them to bring home a child to this situation?  Do you want to make matters worse and perpetuate misery?  This is a good solution for everyone all around coupled with preventative birth control options.   

13.  BUT: we think they are getting condoms or birth control pills for free, no less,  elsewhere, against our wishes.  This is not the moral choice we chose for them.
Good for them.  They are at least being responsible for their own actions. If you are smart and you love your children, show them you may not be thrilled with their decision but support their responsibility out of love for them.   If your child had to pay for an abortion or ran away from home to keep you from finding out they were sexually active, how would you feel then?  Rational thought is a better way to proceed than morality- thumping in the face of reality. Birth control isn’t the worst choice they could be forced to make.     

14.  BUT: we are sure our daughter wouldn’t do that because it is just not her way. Congratulations on being effective parents.  Do you know how many rapes result in pregnancy?  Do you know how easy it is to get date-rape drugs and other drugs that incapacitate a victim?  Do you see the news to know that violence is out there and doesn’t respect its victims?  Thirteen young female bodies were found here in Albuquerque on the Mesa.  If they can be killed they can be raped first. God forbid, but it does happen.  If your child is in a dangerous part of town, at college, or just travels to places where violence is more likely, it might be a good idea.  It won’t keep her alive if a serial killer strikes but it will prevent pregnancy from rape. I also advise prayer for her safety.

15. BUT: God forbids birth control, period.  
Then why do we have free will and sexual urges that He gave us?  Be religious but be protective of your children until they can make their own decisions.  God gave us the ability to control many facets of our lives with intelligent actions, the ability to make machines and medicines.  (Herbal is best but that’s just my thinking.) If we honor God, we honor the abilities He gave us to be smart.  Honor Him by using your God-given intelligence to protect the greatest gift He gave you; your children and the life of an innocent should the procreative urge take over and make a baby no one planned on.
Christ loved the little ones and wouldn’t want them to be abused.  We have all seen parents who had a child at a bad time or under stressed circumstances and that child invariably was subconsciously blamed for being born.  Goodness is encouraged but can you control your silent resentment?  Birth control makes it unnecessary.
And a third point: God never said no to birth control.  That is not a commandment.  The church that rose up using Christ as the authority decided that birth control would limit their numbers and therefore their source of income.  The other thought by other Christians was to allow the use of birth control methods but give them ten percent of what was earned in exchange.   This all happened well before your time but that’s the breakdown.
Make a distinction between God and the Bible written by men friends of Peter and Paul who both disliked women research has shown.  The Bible was then edited and haggled over by men, and finalized to appease Emperor Constantin in 325 A. D.  It still took forty-seven years to make a final draft they could agree upon. Not one of the people who knew Christ in person was allowed to speak for the church that was supposed to be His.
“Thou shall not kill.” The commandment doesn’t say, “Thou shall not prevent a pregnancy  that is unwanted or unwise at this time.”

16.  BUT: we will welcome an unplanned  child.  Good on you!  There are millions of aborted babies and single teen mothers that aren’t so lucky.  Be smart so you don’t have to be magnanimous in view of circumstances.

17.  BUT: here is a scenario you might not foresee,.”My boyfriend doesn’t like condoms because they reduce the pleasure.” Can he get pregnant?  Let him find someone else who is stupid enough to go along with that selfish demand.  Use the Pill if necessary or just tell him no.  I distrust patches because already there is a recall of a major brand.  Protect yourself from people who don’t care enough about you to be safe or think about your welfare. .

No matter what excuse or objection parents might have about birth control for teens or anyone who is fertile, it won’t diminish the number of unwanted pregnancies unless parents or prospective parents  be realistic and allow protection from the consequences of sexual activity, planned or otherwise.  Be really green and use protection.

Frankly, the earth needs to be less populated and the best way to do that is to be RESP0NSIBLE about bringing children into this world.  Every child deserved to be wanted, cared for and have the advantages of being a planned pregnancy.  No one needs the misery caused by an unwanted pregnancy, especially the child who will pay for its own birth through no fault of its own.

Teens, show this article to your parents if you know it is a wise idea.  The life of a child could hang in the balance and yours as well.  Mother do die of childbirth still.  Take the risk if you are ready and not if you aren’t.
With Love,
Grandma.