What Happens When Relationships Own You

There are all kinds of relationships, some good and some bad. Some start out wonderful and then turn to murkiness. Some never really find their place. Relationships, be it family, friends, or lovers, are highly emotional affairs. At their best, people laugh and shine in their togetherness. At their worst, evil destruction occurs. What is important for all of us is to try and catch ourselves from falling into a partnership where it's not the goodness binding us together that permeates our souls, but rather, we become the victim to ourselves, suffering a wound in our hearts that can never be forgotten or mended. Alas, the relationship owns us, forcing us to do its unwitting bidding for all of our mortal lives.

How does the beauty of a friendship turn sour? How do we get ourselves into a position where hours of laughter turns into hours of tears? There are many reasons and possibilities. People change, desires shift, and other people interfere, people who are jealous of a special bond you possess with a certain someone. Our world is fragile, and our sensitivities are equally frail. Oh, we think we're strong, but often we succumb to internal and external pressures. We listen to gossip and believe things we shouldn't. Maybe we're looking for an excuse to find something better. Who knows?

What I know is this. The heart for many is easily attached. Friendship or romance, we fall, and we fall hard. We rejoice in the good times, smiling at the jokes and the things we share in common. We allow ourselves to believe it will never end. That's the trap. It's the belief that what we have in that one special moment will carry forward to tomorrow and all of the tomorrows after that.

Then something happens. Perhaps you're the messenger sending news your special someone doesn't want to hear. Good intentions or not, you get shot. Or perhaps others distort the truth, much as the tabloids do to a celebrity, only this is up close and in person. All of a sudden, a wall begins to develop. The good times give way to strain and doubt, and there's no turning back.

But there's that trap, and it's so vast that you just can't climb out of it. You still want that tomorrow, and in spite of everything, you tell yourself that you'll make it through. The relationship will survive. You're so invested in the dream that it owns you. Indeed, the relationship owns you.

When the relationship owns you, there's only doom ahead. Sooner or later, the end will come, and the sadness, anger, and hurt will threaten to make even the memory of the good times hard to endure. Looking back at the fun, the sharing, and the caring becomes a nightmare because it's been cast away and spread upon the winds. It dies, leaving behind emptiness.

Fight it. Fight it with all you've got. Don't let a relationship own you because if you do, it won't end positively. You'll go on with nothing but regrets, a world of 'what if's', and a sadness that makes you long for just one more phone call, one more laugh, and one more, Honey. Be strong, stay true to yourself, and if the other person involved in a relationship succumbs to evil, get out. It might hurt, but it will be a lesser hurt and the action will be something you controlled instead of you being controlled by other things, other people - indeed, by the relationship itself.