Can You Find Love Online?

Well, don't ask me.  I'm biased - since I did.  I guess that's proof that romantic fulfilment is at least possible as a result of ventures into the dangerous wilds of the internet - but is it likely, is it a good idea, and is it something you might want to consider yourself?

So let's examine the reasons you might want - or not want - to try looking for your new romantic interest via the internet.  Are you burned out by the real-life search for love?  Tired of pubs, bars and clubs, with their noise, their smoke - oh, excuse me, I'd forgotten we're all smoke-free now - and of course having to shout in anyone's ear to make yourself heard above the deafening music?  Or maybe it's just not working for you and you're ready to give online dating a shot.

Maybe you've gone the more sedate evening class route, too.  Carpentry for the ladies - all those hunky guys in lumberjack shirts!  (Except all you met were other lonely females in search of hunky guys in lumberjack shirts).  Art appreciation or beginners' Spanish for the guys - dreaming hopefully of a cultured and cosmopolitan lady friend with handy language chops.  (Don't tell me, it was packed with hopeful guys looking for model-beautiful artistic lady linguists).

Of course many of us meet our life mate at work.  This can create its own laundry-list of problems - workplace prohibitions, dull relationships formed solely due to proximity, having nothing to talk about with your partner at the end of the day.  On the other hand, it certainly is convenient!  Of course, it does depend where you work - if you're a big hairy trucker, you're pretty much limited to other truckers (big and hairy or otherwise) and truck-stop waitresses... (Big and hairy too?  Depends on your tastes).

But let's say you're railing against the constraints of the real-life dating experience - what is there to actively attract you about online dating?  Well, the sheer volume of potential opportunities for love might be it - the internet is a worldwide phenomenon that's going to give you access to a whole lot more hearts and minds than even the bars, classes and workplaces of a huge metropolis.

And of course along with the sheer number of possibilities comes a greater range and variety.  If you live in a one industry town - fishing, car manufacture etc. - or somewhere with few cultural amenities e.g. theatres or art galleries, or out in the snowy wilds, you might have trouble meeting, ooh, a software engineer, or an actor, or a surfer dude.  But with the advent of online dating, all bets are off - you can try to fulfil you fantasies/dreams of being swept off your feet by a filthy rich IT mogul.

Plus there's the 'pre-screening' factor to consider - you can find out a whole lot more about a prospective mate this way than in the immediate, snap-decisions encounter of a club.  It gives you time to assess and consider - and compare between competitors for your affections - before you commit yourself to a date.

But it can't all be good - there must be a downside to online dating, right?  Too true - security has to be a major concern.  People, anyone can be who the heck they like online - and it may bear no resemblance to the person you arrange to meet up with in real life.  Be vigilant of your personal security and take all necessary precautions.  Then take extra precautions!  The world is a risky place and there are a lot of nuts out there - you can be paranoid, but you can't be too paranoid.

Other than that?  Well, it can be a little embarrassing to tell people that you met your significant other through the magic powers of an internet dating site.  It does have a faint flavour of love-lorn spinsters, horny bachelors, and general lone-wolf loserism, much as with bricks and mortar dating agencies.  Still, let them judge – as they go home to a horde of cats or a miserable marriage!

In fact the division in types of dating on the internet is much the same as in real-life.  The dedicated dating sites approximate to regular real life dating agencies.  The other options for meeting a like-minded twin soul and potential romantic partner - special interest sites like music, sport or politics, (which is how I met my honey!), work or business related forums, general interest chat rooms and personal blogs and blog comments - resemble their real life counterparts, clubs, bars, the workplace, evening classes etc.  One might regards the former as a little more commercial, narrowly focussed and task-oriented, and the latter as more (or less) likely to organically lead to a mutual sparking of interest.

In the end it does it really matter how you meet your honey?  Love is love, after all, whether first transmitted through a swift glance, the spark as eyes meet eyes, or through the dancing of electrons as text is transmitted from server to server...  If you have love be thankful for it.  If you don't, then don't give up the search, however you choose to conduct it!

Copyright Ollie Hicks, 2009.